What you can learn from Vivek Oberoi’s mistakes

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Remember Vivek Oberoi’s debut role as Chandu in the movie Company ?

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Chandu was ambitious, dominant, focussed on his goals and didn’t  give a f**k about what the world
thought of him. Precisely the qualities that make a man sexually attractive.

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The character of Chandu was so rare (real men are rare!) that for years, Vivek Oberoi was identified
with Chandu’s qualities of being a sexy, dominant, real man.

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Sure enough, Vivek attracted a massive female following. Including a former Miss. World.

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You’d think he would now turn on the Chandu traits even MORE  to attract Miss. World even more.

But he did just the opposite. He discarded Chandu!

He stopped focusing on his goals (unlike Chandu in the movie) and focused entirely on Aish.
He followed her everywhere like a puppy. He showered her with gifts. In interviews, he talked about
how “blessed” he felt because she had come into his life. He even blushed while talking about her!
My guess is, he also called her on the phone a LOT.

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We know what happened next.

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He was quickly dumped.

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You can’t blame her. With Chandu gone, gone was the man she was attracted to.

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Vivek’s mistakes

Mistake # 1) He stopped being Chandu.
Never stop doing the things that attracted her to you in the first place. Attraction is not
a destination that you reach and then relax. Attraction is a journey. You have to
continuously be an attractive man. Even after you get her number, even after you sleep
with her, even after you’re married to her for 50 years, keep her attracted. If you don’t,
somebody else might.

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Mistake # 2) He did not date other women
After he got dumped, Vivek continued to stay single. He probably thought his “dedication” and
“loyalty” (his words, not mine) would move her emotionally and she would come running back
into his arms. But attraction doesn’t work that way. What he should have done is start dating other
hot women IMMEDIATELY, without wasting a minute waiting for her. The surest way to attract
a woman is to make her see you date other women. Even if you don’t have other women to date,
at least give the impression that you do.

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——————

Yesterday I was reading his interview in a magazine. I thought, after all these years, the man must
have realized his mistakes and is now wiser. Unfortunately, the guy is still a complete dodo.

Here are some of the quotes from the interview (Hindustan Times, HT Cafe, Sat Jan 02, 2009)

“I am still single. I’ve been single for 4 years.”

“I hope to find a girl who appreciates my dedication and loyalty”

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Dude! If you keep giving interviews like these, even Bobby Darling will not want to f**k you.

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The art of pushing a girl away

The art of pushing a girl away to create attraction

———-

If you chase girls, they run away. If you push them away, they chase you.

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Some guys don’t know this. They give her too many compliments, call her
too often… and she runs away.

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Some guys know this, and they don’t chase girls. In fact, they ignore girls and won’t
even talk to them. These are the guys you see at parties, standing aloof and sipping their
drinks calmly. They pretend to ignore the girls hoping that it will attract them.
But it doesn’t work. The cool, aloof James Bond types do NOT get laid. Girls usually
don’t even notice these guys. And even if they do, most women won’t approach a man,
no matter how attracted they are.

——————–

So how do you show that you’re not interested in a woman in a way that gets her attracted?

You do it with ACTIVE disinterest. Don’t just ignore the girls, but approach them, talk to
them and THEN show that you’re not interested.

Here’s an example, that happened recently.

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——————————————————————————————————————

Me (walking up to hot babe, smiling) : “Hey, I saw you from over there, and I noticed your
tight butt. A tight butt is so rare these days. You must be into serious fitness!”

She : (laughing) Well, yes, I like to be fit…blah, blah

Me : (sounding excited) So you have a flat tummy? No paunch at all? Like Shilpa Shetty?

She : How I wish! But I do have a slight paunch.

Me : (I stop smiling, and sound a bit disappointed) Oh…you have a paunch? Well…a slight
paunch is fine…I guess. But hey, since we are talking, let me ask you. I was just giving my friend
over there some female advice. And I wanted your take on this…

——————————————————————————————————————

I then launched into the creepy-ex opener.

——————–

By letting her actively know that her paunch has caused me to lose attraction, she started
seeing me as a challenge. Suddenly I was different from the rest of the guys who had walked
up and told her how beautiful she was. She now wanted to earn my attraction. She listened
to me with more interest, she responded more eagerly to my questions, she was eager to tell
me about her accomplishments. And finally when I had to leave, she was glad I asked for her
number. And when I called her a couple of days later, she was glad I called.

——————–

Active disinterest is powerful. Use it.

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We discuss this in detail in our eCoaching program. In addition to readymade scripts for
active disinterest, clients get to chat with Shiva live, discuss real life situations from their lives
and get instant suggestions and techniques from him to improve their game.

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Learn approaching techniques : Offer extended by 2 days!

Our new year special offer has helped many guys start learning the techniques of approaching
and talking to women. Some of you have requested for more time to pay by cheque or cash, and so
we have extended the offer by 2 more days. On 02 January 2009, at 12 midnight, the offer will
be removed permanently. This is a never-before-never-again offer. If you had ever planned to learn
approaching techniques, there is no better time than now! Click here to sign up.

9 attraction tips for the new year + special offer

9 attraction tips for the new year

Do these 9 things in the new year and your attraction skills will shoot up.  I promise you.
Plus, a special offer you cannot miss!

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1) Talk to everybody

Don’t wait to start talking until you get to the venue and start approaching girls.
Start talking before that. Get into the habit of starting conversations with anybody, just for
the practice. Chat with the paan-shop guy as you buy chewing gum. Chat with the rickshaw
driver on the way. Stop a guy with a great stubble and tell him his stubble rocks. Be the social
guy who talks to everybody. By the time you get to the girl, you will already be in a
conversational mood.

——

——

2) Don’t care about what people think of you

You may be hesitating to approach women because you are afraid people will judge you as
a sex maniac or a loser (confession : I have gone through that). But the truth is, people are not
judging you; they are too busy worrying about what others are thinking of them.

——

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3) Don’t hit on her until she earns it

A common mistake guys do is to express interest in her too early. As you interact with her, and she
gives you a reason for you to be attracted to her, only THEN should you express your interest. A woman
should earn your attraction, only then will she value it.

——

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4) Talk emotional, not logical

Don’t talk about cars, computers and database programming. Talk about relationships and the mysterious,
and use words for emotional impact. Even if you’re talking about your job, describe it emotionally.
Don’t just say “I am an architect”. Say “I take barren land and turn it into a work of art”.

——

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5) Value rejection

There is no such thing as failure, there are only LESSONS. Every rejection teaches you a powerful lesson
that instantly makes you more skilled at approaching. Take the lesson, move forward. Next approach.

——

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6) Fix your body language and voice tone

Stand up straight. Walk as if you own the place. Don’t lean in when you talk to women. Lean back and
speak loudly, slowly and expressively.  Voice tip: When you talk to anybody, talk THROUGH them,
not TO them; pierce the person with your voice.

——

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7) Smile

Guys often think so much about what to say, they forget to smile during approaches. Always smile
while approaching a woman. Fake it if you have to. A smile communicates that you have friendly
intentions, which gets her to drop her defenses and makes her more open to talking to you.

——

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8) Use false scarcity

When a man approaches a woman, 2 questions spring up in her mind.

• a) Why is he talking to me?
• b) How long is he going to stay?

The best way to defuse these questions in her mind is to create false scarcity and give her the impression
that you’re going away soon. It makes her more comfortable talking to you. Say things like, “I can only stay
a minute, so quick question…” or “My friends are waiting, so real quick…”

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9) Use push-pull

Never let a woman know for SURE where she stands with you. Keep her guessing. Say “I will take you out
for coffee but only if you dress hot”. Look deep into her eyes and say, “You know what I love about your
eyes? My reflection in them. I look so cute!” Keep her emotional state fluctuating high and low. Push and pull.
It’s the bedrock of flirting. Never stop doing it. Even after you’re married to her for 50 years.

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An offer you shouldn’t miss!

As a new year gift, we have made the eCoaching program affordable to everybody.
Check it out here. Now learn the techniques of approaching, attracting and
connecting with women, at a really special price. The eCoaching program provides
step-by-step instructions to do all the 9 things described above.

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The 5 steps of the mating dance

There is a sequence of 5 steps that two strangers have to go through,
to move from eye contact to sex (click here to read with animation).

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It doesn’t matter if you follow these steps consciously or naturally.

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It doesn’t matter if you show her this article and she thinks it’s a load of crap. :)

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All that evolution/nature cares about is that the 5 steps be followed in
the exact same sequence.

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Here are the 5 steps.

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Step 1 : Approach
Approach and break the ice. You can open with a simple “Hi”.
Or you can minimize chances of rejection by using routines.

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Step 2 : Show that you are a cool guy
Become so interesting that she stops thinking “Why is he talking
to me?” and thinks “I hope he doesn’t stop talking to me!”

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Step 3 : Disqualify her
Show active disinterest in her and talk to the rest of her friends,
until she provides a reason for you to be attracted to her.

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Step 4 : Isolate & Connect
After she provides you with a reason to reward her with your interest,
isolate her and develop an emotional connection by finding things in
common, and making her feel that this was destined to happen.

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Step 5 : Seduce
Physically advance in a way that doesn’t make her uncomfortable,
until you have sex with her.

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Click here to see the 5 steps with animation

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Are you talking only to the good girl?

———————

Most men grow up believing that there are only two kinds of women in the world–
good girls and bad girls.

—————

Any woman who likes sex must be a BAD girl with loose morals. Any woman who likes
cooking him dinner must be a GOOD girl that he should take home to his mom.

—————

This belief prevents men from truly understanding women.

—————

The truth is, every woman has a good girl AND a bad girl side.

—————

The GOOD girl wants you to buy her flowers and take her for candle-light dinners.

The BAD girl wants you to spank her ass, tie her up and f**k her hard.

And they are both the SAME girl.

—————

No matter how old-fashioned and bahenji-like she may appear on the outside
there is a bad girl inside, who secretly fantasizes about dirty sexual acts.

And no matter how slutty she may appear on the outside, there is a sweet and
shy good girl inside that just wants to be cuddled.

—————

Most women repress their BAD GIRL side because they are afraid of being judged.
They have seen society quick to judge a sexually open woman as ”slut”, “whore”,
“loose”, etc. And they don’t want to suffer the same loss of social status. Women will do
anything (even avoid sex!) to avoid losing their social status.

—————

Only when she meets a man who can confidently engage her bad girl side in a fun
and playful manner, does she let that side come out.

—————

Unfortunately most guys talk ONLY to the good girl inside. They send her romantic
cards, give her gifts and compliments, ask her out to dinner… but they are afraid to
do or say anything that might upset her.

They fail to engage the bad girl.

—————

No wonder women everywhere are sighing, “Oh when will I meet a real man?!”

—————

The solution? As soon as you start interacting with a woman, engage her bad girl side.

—————

Try these ideas:
——————

• Interpret anything she says to mean that she is hitting on you. Example: If you’re
  on the phone and she says that she was sleeping or is going to sleep, say “Hulloooo, we
  have barely met and you’re already talking about SLEEPING together! I think you’re too
  fast for me!” If she asks what movie you’ve seen or mentions one that she’s seen, say
  “I know what you’re hinting at, but I will NOT go for a movie with you. You might
  take advantage of me in the darkness !”
  ———————
• Treat her as if she was a little brat. If she says or does something you don’t approve of,
  say “I don’t know who your boyfriend is… but he’s not spanking you enough”.
  
  
• In response to anything she says, say “Bad girl!” and spank her on the butt. And not gently. ;)
  ———————
• Accuse her (teasingly of course) of being a flirt and wanting you ONLY for your body and not
  for the person you are.
  ———————
  ———————
  —————–
  ———————
  

———————————————————————————————
The Real Man Bootcamp in Bengaluru
Approach beautiful women in Bengaluru under
the guidance of a dating coach : 27-29 December
Click here for details
———————————————————————————————

—————

Every man should learn the art of approaching women

How does learning to approach women make you
better at public speaking?

————————-

Approach anxiety is part of a larger issue called SOCIAL anxiety.

—————-

Most people have some level of social anxiety.

—————-

Some fear making presentations, some are uncomfortable talking to strangers,
some hesitate asking their boss for a raise, some are reluctant to sing or
dance at a party, some fear public speaking, some are uncomfortable dressing
in trendy clothes…

—————-

Whatever your social anxiety, the root cause is a fear of rejection.

—————-

You are afraid you’ll be rejected and disgraced in public.

—————-

So what do most people do?

—————-

They avoid making presentations, they avoid dancing at parties, they avoid talking to
strangers, they avoid taking any initiative where the the spotlight will be on them.

—————-

To avoid the pain of rejection, they decline opportunities for advancing their career,
their friendships, their love life…

—————-

That’s a sad way of living life.

—————-

So how should you handle the fear of rejection?

————

Simple. Don’t give a fuck about what people think.

—————-

Constantly tell yourself “I don’t give a fuck about what anybody thinks of me”

—————-

(I know, fuck is a word that society doesn’t approve of, and I don’t give a fuck about that)

—————-

As long as it’s legal, you can say and do WHATEVER you please. Whether society
approves  or not.

—————-

At the Real Man Academy, men learn to develop this attitude by facing the highest
form of social anxiety : the fear of approaching women.

When you feel anxiety while approaching a woman, you can train yourself to think,
“Ok, this is just my social anxiety acting up, I know it’ll be gone in 30 seconds so let
me just take action.”

And you take action. Without worrying about the outcome.

When you do this continuously, by approaching one woman after another, for 3 days, you
learn to handle this anxiety at a DEEP level.

—————-

Not only does it improve your dating life, you find that all your other social fears*
suddenly seem like no big deal any more!

—————-

You stop fearing public speaking, you stop fearing talking to strangers, you stop fearing
dancing in public.

—————-

Now you don’t care what people think. Now you don’t give a fuck.

—————-

You have learnt to climb Mount Everest, now the small hillocks are no big deal.

————————————-

————————————-

3 simple tips to deal with approach anxiety :

1) Approach one woman daily for 30 days. Get her opinion on some
topic related to relationships. Continue talking if you can and get her number.
Or just say thank you and move on. Here’s a post on how to open conversations
by asking for an opinion.

2) Set hourly reminders into your cellphone to flash the message,
“I don’t give a fuck about what anybody in the world thinks of me”

3) Read ‘The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle

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*Please note : Extreme cases of social anxiety require therapy from a qualified psychologist

How do women see you?

Within minutes of observing you or interacting with you, a woman will put you in one of three categories.

1. Creepy

2. Provider (also known as husband material)

3. Lover

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CREEPY

The Creepy type of guy is attracted to a woman but does not have the courage to openly interact
with her, and so he hovers around hoping something will just happen. He’s the guy sitting in the car
parked outside her salsa class. He’s the guy who traces her mailing address and sends anonymous
letters. He’s the guy at the bar who will stare at her from a distance, and when he’s drunk enough,
approaches her without a smile and tries to make stiff, serious conversation.

Hint: Women run away from creepy.

————-

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PROVIDER (aka ‘Husband material’)

The Provider type of guy treats attraction like a business deal. He buys her dinners and gifts, and in
return, he hopes she’ll have a relationship with him. But that’s not how attraction works. When a man
asks a woman, “Can I take you out for dinner?” what she hears him say is, “I cannot have fun without you.
So I’d like to buy you some food and make you see me as a provider and then, hopefully, you’ll accept
me and make my life exciting.” Hint : Women usually don’t have sex with provider guys; they almost
always delay sex until marriage.

————-

————-

LOVER

The Lover type understands attraction. When he wants to spend time with her, he says “I’m going for
this fun xyz activity on wednesday, you want to come along?” What the woman hears him say is,
“I’m already having a fun time without you. If you join me we can have fun together, if you don’t
join me I’ll still have fun”. This is the kind of man that women desire sexually.

Hint : Many women seek  a provider type of guy as a husband/boyfriend, while discreetly seeking
a lover type on the side.

————-

————-

Footnote : Even if you want her to see you as Husband material, get her to see you as Lover first.
It’s easy to go from Lover to Husband, but not the other way round.

‘Creepy ex’ opener

You can open conversations with women using almost anything. But ideally, a good opener should …

1.  Interest the female psyche, and
2.  Project you as having high social value

Here’s an opener I created that uses both the above elements. I call it the creepy ex opener. This is how it goes…

Me (to woman or her group) : “Hey guys, you look like experts, so let me ask you…”

Women: (curious/confused)

Me: My friend over there needs some female advice
(If you’re alone, point to your cell phone as if you were just talking to the friend)

Women: What?

Me: He broke up with his girlfriend last week. But now…*pause*… she’s behaving CREEPY!

Everywhere he goes, she’s right there! If he’s at a coffee shop, she’s sitting a few tables away. If he’s at a bookstore, she’s reading a book in the next aisle. Everywhere he goes, she’s right there.

Me: Is this normal female behaviour ?!

Women:  blah, blah,  she’s missing him blah, blah

Me: I have to go join my friend, but here’s the question : Should he just walk upto her and say “Baby, stop it now”, or should he just ignore her and hope she comes out of it gradually?

Women: He should ignore her/ he should ask her to stop / blah blah blah

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That’s it. That was the creepy ex opener.

Let me break it down.

• As soon as you approach a woman, her first thoughts  are logical, “Why is this guy talking to me?, What does he want? How long is he going to stay?” That’s why you need to engage her emotional mind immediately.
• Women love giving advice. They love it even more if they have to give female-related advice.
• The word creepy elicits strong emotional reactions from women. Almost every woman or her friend has experienced  a creepy stalker guy.
• Now it’s unusual for a woman to behave creepy, so my story intrigues them, they want to know more.
• They know that my friend must have high social value for a woman to follow him all over. And if he hangs out with me, it implies that I have high social value too.
• Earlier I was a random guy walking up and asking a random question. But now, I am a high social value guy with interesting stories. Now they’re more open to interacting with me than before.

You guys are free to use this exact same opener, but ideally you should create your own.

By the way, the creepy ex incident actually happened to me. But I say it happened to my friend because women are a bit more comfortable when they hear it’s happened to a third-party.

You can get a bunch of openers for various situations when you attend any of our workshops
or eCoaching programs. We provide openers for bookstores, shopping malls, coffee shops,
supermarket, direct openers, situational openers and more.

Sad story + important lesson + special coaching offer

Sad Story

Recently, this 48 year old computer programmer walked into an upmarket dance class in Los Angeles and shot dead 3 beautiful women. Then, he turned the gun on himself.

George Sodini was  a good-looking Systems Analyst, with a job, his own house and no criminal record.

The reason for his frustration? He could not attract women.

It sounds like one of those internet jokes, except, this actually happened. Detailed news report here.

From his diary notings, it’s apparent that Sodini worked hard on his attraction skills. He got a tan, took the effort to be fit, dressed well and smelt nice. He spruced up his house, bought elegant furniture that he thought women would fancy, read books on dating. But, as he noted in his diary, “women don’t even give me a second look ANYWHERE“.

His neighbour who lived across the street from Sodini for 12 years, when asked whether he ever seemed disturbed, she said no. ”He seemed pretty focused on life,” the neighbour said, “He seemed happy.”

Sodini seemed happy but clearly his inability to attract women had turned his mind into a living hell.

Of course, this is an extreme case. Not every man who is unsuccessful with women goes around shooting them. But the truth is, the inability to attract women is more frustrating than most people realize.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

Important Lesson

No matter how successful and accomplished a man becomes, without the skills of approaching and talking to women, he will always feel a deep sense of frustration. Even if a man is married or has a girlfriend, until he knows how to keep her attracted, the frustration will persist.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

Special Coaching Offer

The 30 day eCoaching program. Click here for details.

Or paste this link in your browser www.realman.in/ecoaching.php

3 common approaching mistakes

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3 common mistakes guys make
while approaching women
———————————————————————————

MISTAKE 1 : Thinking too much
You see a really beautiful girl. She is everything you imagined your perfect girl to be. You know you HAVE to meet her. But instead of walking up and talking to her, you start thinking about everything that could go wrong. She may have a boyfriend, she may not like to be disturbed, her friends may laugh at me, she may laugh at me, she is too hot for me, I am not dressed well enough, I don’t know what to say, I have bad breath, I have body odour, I will run out of things to say, I don’t have my best shoes on, my hair is a mess, she is on the phone, people are watching…and soon you are so nervous, you decide not to approach! The guys who are the best at approaching and seducing women are those who take action DESPITE these excuses playing in their mind. Don’t hesitate or waste time analyzing the situation. Either she’ll notice you dilly-dallying and mark you as a creepy guy. Or, if you think too much, you might convince yourself to not approach.

 

MISTAKE 2 : Not smiling
This is one of the most common mistakes I see among guys. They’re are so busy worrying about how the approach will turn out, they forget to SMILE! Always smile when you approach a woman or her group. If it doesn’t come naturally, fake it. :) On a subconcious level, a smile signals that the person comes as a friend, and not an enemy. And we are programmed to respond more positively to someone who appears friendly.

 

MISTAKE 3 : Approaching with an energy level lower than hers
Most women are out to have fun. If  you can make her feel happier and lighter than she’s feeling already, you will be welcomed, and she’ll want to talk with you. But if you take her energy DOWN by speaking in a soft voice or with stiff body language, she will want you to go away fast. That’s why, always approach with an energy level that’s slightly higher (or at least equal) than the woman. Some ways to raise your energy level is to talk in a loud and energetic voice, have open body language, gesture as you speak, and smile.